Goodbye to an Old Friend

Goodbye to a dear old friend. A friend that I grew with, a friend I lost, a friend I regained. A friendship that has spanned half of my life-time. A friend I played so many roles with, like a chameleon shape shifting to meet my new and ever changing needs (perceived and real). A friend that allowed me to shed my old skins, time and time again, with my head held high, but mostly blinded, until I saw new light. A friend that curled me up in a dark cocoon, and let me melt until I found wings to fly. A friend who taught me humility, and integrity in my thoughts, feelings and actions.

Once upon a time, this friend let me go WILD until I broke every ounce of conditioning I thought I had, amazing, until I went too far. This friend allowed me to feel unbearable loneliness, I constantly sought my next fix of superficial community, with the painful loss of soul, found in empty drinks, and endless circus like parties, maddening and eventually debilitating. A friend that let me feel the sharp tongue and judgment of people in pain themselves. A friend who let me jump into bigger and bigger empty pools, till my beat up body screamed no more, and my pain came knocking for me to run, run, run, but this faithful friend did not let me.

Get up, it said. Face your loneliness, face your bruised and lost soul, look in the mirror and see the countless faces you have had, stand up tall, and rebuild what you have broken, what we have broken. So I did. I stayed with my friend, and re-invented my mind, my story, my hope. I looked in the mirror and at some point I did not recognize the woman I saw. Slowly this friend, with my new eyes and new heart, looked and felt different, as I did. We had so many new experiences and adventures with our open hearts. Now this friend thrives with hope, dreams, and possibility too.

Now, in the present, this friend tells me, oh so quietly is time to go. You can go now. Really? Why? I love you I said? I feel comfortable. I feel good. You feel good. Precisely it said.
Your zone is not comfort, do not do that to yourself. Your zone is jumping into the void. Be like the chameleon, the snake, the butterfly. Never stop evolving, shape shifting, growing, becoming. It is true I said. That is where I like to play. The place where fear melts away. Where you can die, and be reborn again and again. With new eyes, new wings, and a heart widening and widening to take in more and more.

This friend, with a name, is a place, I have called home for 16 years on and off. What a love affair it has been Lancaster! A toss and tumble of life, death and rebirth. Of pain, joy, and reinvention. A place where I lost and scattered my soul, but resisted the urge to run, and allowed myself to gather the pieces and finally be proud of who I am. A friend I hope I have given my all to, in the best way I could, once I was in a position to.

Thank you for letting me become this woman, and giving me the options of starting again and again, till I feel I have grown to bursting point. Thank you for whispering to me that the time had come to fly.

The people that share their friendship with Lancaster and with me, thank you, you know who you are, those that picked me up off the floor, those that put me on the floor, those that have believed in the me I am now. So much gratitude. Too many faces, and memories, explosive highs and heartfelt communion to name any! But to say thank you from the bottom of my heart to each one of you, past and present, those still here and those long gone.

A new friend calls me. I hear its name, in the wind and in my heart. A place with a name called Exeter. Where I know not a soul. Seriously.

I would love to say I am happy or sad to leave, but I am neither (then moments later I am both ha!). I am simply ready, to jump and trust in my story. Trusting that the energy I have cultivated, and do my best to translate (into human lingo haha) and give to others, will come back to me in new and interesting ways. Trusting that where I am called is where I am needed. Not expecting an outcome or knowing what is best for me and others, just trusting, flowing.

Dear friends, please do not be afraid of feeling your fear, and showing it the door when the time comes. Consider sitting in your loneliness until you realize that only you can fill you up with the feelings of warmth and goodness you so crave. I invite you to put your gentle hand on your tummy, your head, or your heart and just lie there till you feel your own energy. I invite you to never ignore the whisperings of your heart, your spirit, your mate, or the place you reside. Listen for when the time is to expand, shed, transform, grow new branches, or spread new roots.

I am living proof, that when enough is enough of your self created pain, that there are people, tools and ways of transforming your thoughts, feelings, beliefs and perspectives to create a life you really want, and be surrounded by the people that reflect that. (If you want help with that get in touch). Wherever you are, and whatever your dreams are you have all the power to make a difference in your own life, and therefore for those around you. Listen……your heart is calling. X

My daughter and I spent two days in Exeter, and we both knew and felt it was right. How cool is that! So we move this July, from this gorgeous house, gorgeous town, gorgeous Steiner school, gorgeous friends, gorgeous yoga community, gorgeous network groups. I have cosmically ordered the wicked flat for then so hopefully it will be on time. If you know anyone down that way do let me know and connect us if you feel called to.

To those that know AuraTransformation is the right move for them, why hesitate any longer? Drop me a line if you want to talk about your personal situation and find out how it helped me leap out of my old broken skin into my resilient self today. My last free info talk at the Urban Buddha is on the 22nd of May at 4.30pm.
To the AuraTransformed community, I am always a chat box away! The great news is that there will be an AuraTransformation training course this September in Lancaster, so hopefully you will not be left with out an AuraMediator.
For those who enjoyed the transformative power of Creative Kinesiology I will be fully qualified to professional level next March so I look forward to going deeper with you then.
Finally to those that really feel the call to transforming their inner landscape, watch this space, I have a vast, accessible and exciting project up my sleeve, in the meantime I can do 1-1 skype sessions too.

Being a true friend Lancaster will always be in our hearts, so we will be visiting when we can, with delight.

I Love You.