Self Sabotage

Following on from my last post I felt it would be insightful to share, with permission, an anecdote from Jana who had her AuraTransformation (AT) about 6 months ago.  Jana recently came for a Balancing, I had noticed that when things went wrong she would allow anger to run through her body, ultimately patterning all her cells with dis-ease.  These reactions become habits of behaviour.   I see these reactions as resistance to reality or what is.  

I like to look at how I pattern my reactions and responses to situations of stress or what is deemed as inconvenient by comparing my movements (physically and energetically) to the image of time-motion dancers making graceful patterns across time and space.  In daily life that means finding a mix of harmony in your routines alongside the least stressful way of reacting to situations.  With what ever is happening. Find a solution and make the best of it.  Resisting solutions is anger inducing.  


"Hi Sarah, I have to share something beautiful with you.  Although I came to tonight Yin yoga at 6pm, the door was locked, so I missed it again!  I WASN'T ANGRY!!! My "usual" response would be swearing my head of (obviously in my mind) and getting really wound up about it and probably, being angry at Dave (my partner) - and blaming him for being late and not making it. The whole lot.  But bang! It wasn't. I kept looking at The Urban Buddha posters, reading the info and then it clicked! Oh my world, something is happening! I didn't go ballistic with Daniel (my son) when he was furious with me because of what ever I said or asked him to do.  His answer was no! I'm not putting my bike into the garage, grinding his teeth and banging into everything, this is not fair! I didn't say anything, walked into the house to get few things and in the meanwhile, he put his and Emi's bike in. "Thanks that helps, Daniel"... And carried on with what I was doing. No drama, no blaming!  Some more outburst of anger followed when inside, but slowly he mellowed and calmed down."

 "I love it! I have been doing balancing every morning and night.   Since our Crystal Gathering I am feeling the energy especially on my fingertips. And nice calm feeling in the chest area.   Also, I don't know if that's part of it, but sometimes I see a sort of white- haze surrounding things.  I don't know- probably just need to go to the optician? Ha, ha. One more thing I have realised, when I read about not allowing myself to be pulled down by fear and negativity.  I was very aware of it at last time at work.  Got into this treadmill of negativity and blame, it started with a cold on Saturday.  I'm very much aware of the fact that I can't be putting my head into the sand and pretend it doesn't bother me, when it does.  But at least I can choose not to play the games of a victim.  I'm going to do my best to enjoy helping the patients and my colleges!" 

"Here are some of the points I wrote in my diary after the Balancing: everything Sarah was telling me was making sense to me, even when she said that I will not like hearing it, that I'm going round and round in self-pity and in my own dramas ( and liking it ). It made sense.   Funny enough, I was fine with it when she said it.  I thought to myself - I really should do something about it and stop self-sabotaging.  Burn some energy out! Do some sports, physical activity. Go back to looking after yourself again. Not to push emotions away, but observe them, acknowledge them without judging, what doesn't serve me, let go of it. Have more fun- jumping in muddy puddles in rainbow wellies.  Not to be serious about everything all the time, laugh! Meditate with kids, buy yoga cards for kids, playing, laughing with them.  When I come home from work- to have a 5 min rule with them to calm down and shake all the "stuff" from the whole day off.   Every day is a new day, self doubt and feeling guilty doesn't help anybody.  I'm doing my best and I will try to do even better tomorrow...
Thank you Sarah"

I want to thank Jana for allowing me to share these messages with you.  These are the moments that keep me going and mean I love what I do.  I am so grateful for having the possibility to watch people transform.   Knowing that all the hard times I went through and picked myself up from are now tools I can share.

Love Sarah